Struggling With Mindfulness
Hot topics of the 21st century are buzzwords like:
"mindfulness", "balance", "you-time" "rejuvenation", detox, the list goes on...
But the real struggle isn't in defining each of these terms (as I have come to learn they are unique per person rather than universal) but how the heck is someone living in the real-world fitting all these "buzz" words into your schedule? Share your goddess secrets! No, seriously!?
They say: take 10 minutes each day to meditate, workout for at least 30 minutes, be mindful when eating, be mindful in general, don't forget you have that thing called a job, family responsibilities, .... .... ...
So yeah, great idea to "SCHEDULE" out my already too-scheduled day to include me-time, sounds a bit backward, no?
Ah - then it must be backward! Listening to my inner-self, just like mama taught us. I am learning do not go about cramming in even more into that crazy schedule, instead, the habit is learning to say NO.
- Say no to additional social engagements
- Say no to additional (non-core, non-paid) work responsibilities
- Say no to electronics (for a bit in your day)
- Say no to expectations
- .... fill in the blank
Slowly and VERY VERY slowly, I have been doing this.
- Social engagements - you know, if it isn't something I am dying to do, why add stress to my life. I mean, it is rare I get a "free-day" and even those days are used to accomplish the long list of crap that can't get completed on prior days, so why feel forced to add in additional plans? Why not learn to be still with me and to just chill - maybe watch the sun rise and set all in the same day?
- Work Responsibilities - I am young and I need to take on everything and anything someone asks of me to prove myself, right? Wrong. This is how you become taken advantage of and considered a "secretary" rather than an equal. You need to be respectful but say no to tasks that really don't add value to your position. This will allow you to spend more time on "big projects that will hopefully help guide you in the direction you wish to go.
- Electronics - I used to really freak out when I would send messages to others and not receive a response back in a timely manner --- bahaha --- in my mind, that meant respond ASAP. I mean, you have glued yourself to your phone anyhow, why can't you respond? Wrong, I have also started partaking in leaving my phone places so that I get down time and I love love love it! I have also been working very hard on taking the time to respond to others instead of doing so immediately, in hopes that I break the immediate response need habit.
- Expectations - for me, it is a mix of other's expectations but my own as well - body image, what I think I should be doing at age 28, and so much more. I need to learn to celebrate the small successes in my own life. I enjoy and encourage others to celebrate every little success in their lives, why can't I remember to do this for myself? I've started saying to myself, okay, maybe you are not where you "thought" you would be at this point in life, BUT look at all of the shit you have accomplished and the obstacles you have overcome - you rock girl!
I've picked up a really bad habit in my single life and honestly, it started during college and then continued as I entered the corporate world. I think I was trying to grasp every square inch of the day so that I could try and be as productive as possible and prove my way - what I started doing was eating while working. I carry that habit with me today and before I eat, I set the PC up near me so that I can do "busy-work".
I've got my smoothie bowl ready to rock with the laptop just inches away. Busy-bodies Awareness here I am - the first step is admitting you have an issue, right? Well, here I am admitting the issue and I am going to work at trying to leave the laptop and other distractions behind while eating!
"Live less out of habit and more often out of intent"